To love is to risk pain – that is what society tells us, that is what everyone advises us when we get into a relationship. Is it like loving at your own risk? That can’t be. It should not always be like that. Why should we take risk? How come there is pain when in fact it is love? And what is the definition of pain in love?
I believe that healthy relationships need not to risk pain. There may be little misunderstandings, but not to the point of suffering too much from heartbreak. What I see wrong in some relationships why they fail to work out is the presence of little “self-centeredness.” I don’t know but that “little” selfishness does big things. Third parties, dishonesties, unfaithfulness and all the like come in here.
Let’s see what this “self-centeredness” has to cater for us.
Selfishness is thinking about your own. It’s “ME” time as defined. You may care about your partner, yes, but not enough to say that you really care for someone you are committed with. Once you are overwhelmed with this attitude, all the factors that may bring the relationship to a great failure may come in.
1. DISHONESTY – Always remember that being trusted is a greater compliment than being loved. Once you lie, you cheat - not just to your partner, but to yourself as well. Just think about how much can you tolerate the foolishness when you lie? I believe that when you are dishonest, you are weak. Mean everything you do and say it when you know that it is true.
2. THIRD PARTY – I guess, this is the most tempting crime. A lot of people get involved with this. They may have several reasons why they meddle with somebody else’s relationship, but still it is not right. Consciously or unconsciously, we are giving the caress to somebody else instead of rendering it to our partners.
Well I suppose dishonesty captures everything. It all starts with white lies, and everything grows. Third party has the unfaithfulness, infidelity, betrayal and all the other “deceitful” things you can do to your partner. Sum it up, and the root is “self-centeredness.”
I am not a pro when it comes to love talks, I am just bringing out what I think is the reason why heartbreaks exist. In order to avoid “risking pain in love” might as well be thoughtful enough. When you are in a relationship, you are not a single being anymore, you are two - brought together to be one. Give and take matters most.
One more point, the worst thing you can do to your partner aside from all these is when you hit her. That is just so unbecoming. And think about this, treat your partner as how you would want your Father treats your Mom.