Hi! This is just a cause of Boredom. I just want to write something about what is happening with me & with us during our Semestral Break.
Ughh, getting into fights and arguing all the time for almost two months isn’t healthy for a relationship. I think, with this kind of routine, relationship and people gets frail. Actually, we’ve already hit the rough patch of our relationship. We’re like, every time we try to talk about everything it always end up into fighting. Everyday seems like an indisposed day for us two. It feels like the both of us were waiting for something that isn’t gonna happen. We’re breaking up every now and then. Its hard, really. When you don’t know where you stand in someone’s life. When you’re just there waiting for the answer if there is still, “you & me?”.
This past two weeks, has been the hardest situation we’ve had. We’ve tried to end up our relationship for good. Because we thought that it isn’t always about trying to fix everything and we feel like we both don’t deserve to get hurt. I always try to end everything with no bitterness and hatred at all. But deep down, I’m tearing apart.
Those days that we’re not Okay made me stay awake at night, makes my eyes puffy. I don’t feel like talking to anyone even talking to my Mom. To indisposed eating any meal of the day and every minute seems like somethings bothering me.
I know, being in a relationship isn’t something about “Pag ayaw muna at pagod kana, humiwalay kana.” For me, that’s a total bullshit. Alam ko, we’re not supposed to hurt each others feeling, pero that’s love. You love, you get hurt. Siguro, kung hindi tayo nagmamahal nang totoo, hindi din tayo masasaktan. Why get hurt if we don’t love the person, right? Sabi nga nila, love is about taking risks, understanding and forgiving the person you love. Even if it means to swallow your pride.
If you’re both absolutely in love, you’ll find a millions ways to fix everything, to build something new, just forget the past and promise to be a better person. Time flies so fast, we haven’t noticed the things that we had between the two of us. We don’t have communication for about 2-3 days, we don’t talk, we don’t mind each other. Until the day came that we totally missed each others companion and that, we started talking like there’s nothing happened at all. Ngayon, sobrang saya namin ulit, sobrang Okay na para bang walang nangyari pag katapos ng lahat. Finally, may proof na ‘ko na totoo ang kasabihan na ang ayaw sa isang relasyon ay “pamtibay” din. At hindi dapat, sinusulusyonan kaagad agad ng Break up. We’ve learned so much from our mistakes and hoping that this time mai-apply na namin ‘to in the near future so that malelessen lahat ng heartaches na pwedeng mangyari. Tingin ko, tama nadin na nagyari sa amin ang lahat ng ‘to, dahil dito, we have learned the “do’s and don’ts” of our relationship. Also, a kind of situation like this can make you feel that you really love someone, kasi kahit anong ayaw niyo, you can’t let go. Kahit ilang beses mong sabihin na ayaw muna, nabubusog ka lang dahil kinakain mo lang lahat ng sinasabi mo. Ngayon, marunong na kaming umintindi sa isa’t isa. I learned to trust him and he learned to court me. Sana hindi lang ‘to tumagal for days and weeks, sana dalahin na namin ito kahit saan kami magpunta. At lalo pang tumibay ang relationship namin. It’s an instrument for us to thank God everyday for giving us another chance to continue our journey to forever. ☺
Now, our relationship gets stronger and happier than ever. I love you, mere words can’t say how much. Kahit ilang beses kong sabihin na ayaw ko na, you know, I just can’t let you go. ♥